How Postpartum Doulas Can Positively Impact New Parents Mental Health
Postpartum Doulas have the tremendous opportunity to be an emotional support for parents, and anchor them in compassion and companionship as the family navigates the depth of feelings in uncharted early parenting
Imagine having a Postpartum Doula walking along side you in parenthood, providing professional knowledge uniquely related to your baby’s feeding, sleeping, and neurological development. This connection and intentionally of care can help a parent determine their own informed decisions on what is working and what is not, which in turn can help reduce feelings of uncertainty and fear, ultimately contributing to better mental well-being.
But what does that autonomy and safety in living through the uncertainty look and sound like. . . .
It looks messy, and sometimes is accompanied by language to express and sometimes the moments show up in get-comfort-being-uncomfortable body language and silence as a parent finds their words while they love on and cry with their baby, and their Doula leans into all the physical, emotional and mental components of recovery.
One family dynamic might be: mother and father as they identify are deeply devoted to their journey of togetherness and IVF becoming their parenting story. The birth of their baby became a choice to have a cesarean founded partly in the fear newborn distress, and also their OBGYN’s best suggested outcome based on advanced maternal age and IVF conception - the parents felt really good about their decision. So how does a new parent brain process all that happened to bring this baby into the world and integrate those transitions with learning who this tiny person is, and starting their recovery?
Here is one way to help a parent do all those monumental human things . .
It’s the breaking of barriers, the kindly and with patience asking of hard questions that their Doula does to help reduce parental feelings of powerlessness or trauma that can contribute to perinatal mental health challenges. Families have often shared with our team the most incredible value of a having a Postpartum Doula that their Doula gave them on-going permission to ensure their voice was heard and their choices respected. While attuning to the intentional and being mindful of each ‘next’ wave of experience your Doula might ask:
What has been showing up for you that I can be aware of?
What did you discover about yourself as a parent today?
What do you need for you right now?
How has your baby been responding to their world?
These on-going relationship building blocks (based on the continuity-of-care and emotional support) as a person adjusts to parenthood can help reduce feelings of isolation, overwhelm, and provide validation, encouragement, and practical assistance - all of which are the tenants of the support provided by Postpartum Doulas throughout the perinatal period.
Setting up a family with a tool kit for mental health awareness while navigating ‘the birth of a parent’ includes:
Bringing partners in the conversation of support
Educating and showing parents about infant bonding and skin-on-skin for both parents
Normalizing baby blues & baby pinks, and making mental health part of recovery conversations.
Educating about mental health warning signs.
Honoring in cultural, identity and parenting values the person in front of you
Upholding new family traditions
and finally
Attune not assume!
- Sarah Willett